When accountability doesn't work

Half my city is currently without power.

But hey, even if it's 90 degrees and drenched in sweat, we're gonna hotspot in and get this email out there.

Earlier I was reflecting on the nature of overcoming addictions.

Which I have a whole heck of a lot of experience with after overcoming crippling porn, technology, and polysubstance use addictions that had me caught on an escapism rollercoaster that was wrecking my relationships and had me performing worse than a quadriplegic in an ass-kicking contest... and personally helping 142+ guys quit porn and fix their lifestyles, too.

And when it comes to quitting bad habits, accountability is one of the most talked about tools.

But the way most people use it actually doesn't help much.

... and at worst, can even be harmful.

Because what happens is people learn to rely on the accountability too much.

They outsource their decision-making to an external influence.

Which, to be fair, works.

For a while.

But when you aren't making deeper changes within your psyche, your way of thinking, your ways of coping, and purposefully improving your lifestyle so you find it more satisfying?

When that accountability, for one reason or another, falls through...

People just fall right back into their old patterns.

And they fall hard.

Like nothing really changed.

Because nothing really had changed.

It's not that accountability is bad.

It's important, it works, and you should seek it out as part of your process.

But what's the secret?

To get accountability but work hard on yourself at the same time.

To be doing the deeper work of killing your rationalizing thoughts, developing emotional intelligence and resilience so you can stop using your vices for escapism, facing down your fears and anxieties, and working on making your life more satisfying. Building habits that are constructive and helpful to the person you want to be and the way you want to live. Creating the internal structures and strategies that'll help you protect you from yourself long-term.

Because when you do that, you reach a point where you don't need accountability anymore.

You are your own accountability.

You naturally hold yourself to a higher standard.

You've created an identity-level change where you never go back to old ways.

And this is exactly what my 60-day, 1-on-1 mentorship process is all about. Helping you quit porn for good by creating an identity-level change where you simply don't need or want it anymore, and can move on into a healthier way of life.