The gift of clear communication

I once read a wonderful book.

A short one, but jam-packed with so much wisdom it's hard to believe.

It was about communication in relationships.

Specifically:

Hearing and validating what someone is saying and feeling, so that they feel not just heard... but seen and understood, which, as the author points out, is one of the greatest desires of the human heart. It's also about learning how to express one's needs, while giving the other person the space to put their needs on the table too. So a middle-ground can be reached where everyone's needs are being satisfied and everyone is therefore much happier.

Super awesome stuff.

Life changing, even.

One thing I've learned with women is that often, they don't want us to jump right into "masculine problem-solving" mode when they share something.

And yet that's what a majority of guys' brains tend to do automatically.

Which can create a bit of a disconnect between what she actually wants/needs, and what she's getting, and therefore create friction within the relationship.

Learning how to be a better listener is a big part of being a better communicator.

And good communication is a BIG part of the tide on which relationships rise or fall.

... and a healthy brain, or an unhealthy one...

Is a BIG part of the tide on which healthy communication rises or falls.

One of the greatest things I've done for my relationships?

Quit porn to heal my brain and therefore my confidence, emotional stability, and more... Then take a portion of that energy and use it to improve my communication skills even further.

Net result?

Conversations like the one I had with my girl last night.

Where she was thanking me profusely for being such a good listener, for being the kind of man who holds a space for her where she feels safe to share the deepest parts of herself openly.

A reality that just wasn't possible for me before quitting porn.

How could it have been?

The parts of my brain that were being damaged by porn are directly connected with our emotional stability, communication skills, and more.

Anyways, that's the big idea here.

Quit porn.

Heal your brain.

Take the time and energy you're suddenly saving.

Use it to improve the various parts of your life that deserve more attention.

Like pursuing the woman who deserves your attention.

Developing your communication skills.

Etc.

... and before too long, you'll notice that your entire day-to-day feels better than it has in a very long time. Maybe ever.

Sure, it ain't easy necessarily.

But it's worth it.

P.S. You didn't think I'd leave you hanging, did you?

The book's title is 'I Hear You' and I highly recommend it.