Forgiving yourself

I think a lot of guys carry a certain weight with them.

Not extra pounds around the waist.

A heavier, emotional weight.

The weight of poor past decisions.

The weight of wasted years spent doing things that don't serve us.

The weight of feeling like we should be better off than we are currently if we'd just played some cards differently.

But that kind of regret is heavy.

And it isn't even fair.

Because all we've ever been able to do is use the knowledge, information, and perspectives we have available to us at the time.

For example, I wish I'd quit porn during the first year I ever saw it.

God, how things would have been different in my life!

But I simply didn't know what I didn't know. And then when I found out some of what I didn't know, and knew I had to quit, it was years later and the hooks were in so deep that quitting felt almost impossible for years. Until eventually I found more of the right knowledge that ultimately, after years of effort and exploration, allowed me to free myself.

What's more, though, is that I simply wouldn't be who I am now if I had quit in year 1.

I wouldn't have had such an impact on the lives of other men.

I wouldn't have all this knowledge about overcoming compulsive behaviors.

I wouldn't be this man.

And so I really have no regrets.

And I urge you to have a similar conversation with yourself.

Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn't know, give yourself grace and appreciation for becoming who you've become through those experiences... and tap into this truth:

You can't change the past.

All you can change is what you do going forward.

If, like an older version of me, porn has been plaguing your life for years and you know it's been hurting you... don't let that carry forward into the future anymore. The man you want to be doesn't let that problem persist any longer. He cuts it by any means necessary.

And if you need help, I got you.