Sunday reflections

I don't want to be too heavy on a Sunday morning.

But I wanted to share a reflection I had a number of years ago that rattled me to my core.

What I realized was this:

My role as a man is to protect, serve, provide, and lead.

But how could I possibly lead others effectively if I couldn't even lead myself properly?...

I wasn't even in control of my basic impulses. Want porn? Watch porn. Want to smoke? Pack the bowl. YouTube crosses my mind? Locked and loaded. Often regardless of the consequences, which I knew were accumulating, I'd just... do it anyways.

Harming myself for years.

And what hurt worse was realizing that the people in my life knew.

They might not have known every little detail. But the fact I wasn't leading myself well was obvious in my energy - which was tired, scattered, not very present, and always wanted to slip away back into my creature comforts.

This was before I even had the greater responsibilities I have these days.

The dynamic would have been far worse if I'd already had a family relying on me...

And indeed, that is often the case with the fathers I work with. Fathers with kids ranging from 1 years to 20+ years old, who realize that while they've done so much for their families successfully, there are some areas where they just weren't leading well.

Perhaps by wasting time on their comforts instead of with their kids.

Perhaps by arguing with their wives instead of being emotionally anchored.

Perhaps by simply not providing a good example of what good health, a grounded attitude, good values, and presence look like.

... and perhaps through any other number of things where they're dropping the ball despite wanting to do better.

Here's the hard truth:

When you allow instant gratification to be your default mode... which is completely unavoidable if super-strong superstimuli like porn or drugs are part of your lifestyle... then you'll simply fall short of your own standards, even if you know who you want to be and how you want to live. There's a huge difference between knowing who you want to be, and *actually following through on it... *and the difference? It lies in your neurochemistry, which you have quite a bit of control over.

Let me explain:

If you want to start actually following through on what you know is best, there's no stronger change you could make than reining in that porn/masturbation habit and healing your brain from the damage it's been doing.

And once you do that right, making other changes comes infinitely more naturally.

Take off the ball-and-chain and you'll feel what it's like to finally move unencumbered for the first time in years.

And if it's felt impossible on your own, go below to see how I can help you turn it around in just 60 days: