Communication is *your* responsibility

A couple months ago, I became the leader of the men's group I've been part of for the past 3 years.

And suddenly I had a very different perspective on the group.

I wasn't just showing up and sharing.

Instead, the flow of the evening became my responsibility.

And I noticed recently that the group had started drifting towards... rambling, not using our words powerfully, and generally taking up too much space to share things that weren't that potent.

So last night, at the beginning of group, I called it out.

Let everyone know what I was noticing, and called upon everyone to use their words more effectively.

To be more concise.

To say what we think the other guy most needs to hear, not just whatever we want.

... and what happened next?

Was one of the sharpest groups we've had in recent times.

Way more fire.

Way more power in our words.

Everyone left feeling a lot more satisfied, I think.

Which reinforced an important lesson I've learned over the past few years.

That when we call something out, we give the people around us an opening to improve. Even if it's uncomfortable, it generally ends up being a massive net positive when you're willing to step up and say what you think needs to be said with love, respect, and good communication skills. (AKA not being an asshole about it)

And if that's true in a men's group…

it's ten times more true in your relationship.

Truth is...

As the masculine presence, your girl is going to respond to your leadership, or your lack of it.

So... communication in your relationship is YOUR responsibility.

And when you have uncomfortable conversations, you give the other person the chance to hear you and adjust and show you how much they care. If you avoid those convos, you rob them of that - and rob yourself of it, too.

Thing is, uncomfortable conversations are...

Uncomfortable.

So if you've trained your brain into deep patterns of escapism where you're coping with life's uncomfortable situations by turning towards porn, or any other form of high-stimulation low-value dopaminergic behaviors, then you're literally training your brain to run away from discomfort.

To be avoidant.

Net result?

You won't have those conversations.

... and you'll end up undermining the growth of yourself, your partner, and your relationship together in the process.

Not cool.

But every pattern can be changed.

Heck, you've probably done much harder things than quit porn.

Building a business, building your career, starting a family, raising kids... that shyt is hard.

Quitting porn is only hard when you don't know what you're doing, but is frankly easy in comparison... when you just follow my instructions.

And while I'm not taking more clients currently because I'm focusing on my existing ones while I work on a rather enormous project, waitlist members are alerted before everyone else when I have availability again.

... and when that time comes, I'll help you quit porn for good in 60 days flat if you're ready.