The pain of changing

You aren't a tree.

You don't have roots holding you in place.

You don't have to stay where you are if you don't like it.

On any given day, you can say "enough is enough" and choose to walk in a different direction.

That's the beauty of being human.

Our ability to control our actions, trajectory, and ultimately our destiny.

Sure, if you're asleep at the wheel, who knows where you'll end up? Could be on a beautiful tropical island, or could be stranded in the middle of nowhere. But there's no need to live that way. Taking control over your circumstances ain't that hard.

It's not EASY either, obviously, or else more people would do it.

But there's a mental reframe I'd like to share with you:

The pain of changing is less than the pain of staying the same.

Which is, to say the least, counterintuitive to our biological programming to seek comfort and avoid pain. Because the human brain is an incredible adaptation machine that quickly becomes accustomed to whatever it's experiencing, including pain. That pain becomes normal. And there's a certain comfort in the familiarity and normalcy of that pain, even if it sucks.

Changing, on the other hand?

That's unknown.

Our biology was programmed to fear the unknown, to want to stay within the bounds of what we know because it's familiar and "safe."

And yet...

We aren't just simple animals who live based on the whims of our biology.

Or at least, we don't have to live like that, even though many do.

We're capable of higher-order thinking. We're capable of sidestepping certain biological wiring for our own greater, long-term benefit. And the truth is that the pain people experience from staying the same for so many years, from going 5, 10, 15, 30 years still struggling with the same old problems... based on what I've observed, that seems absolutely f**king miserable.

I literally cannot fathom how people do it.

Is looking in the mirror, admitting your shortcomings, and working on improving and fixing them painful? Sure, it ain't all sunshine and roses.

But it's a heck of a lot better than just repeating the same patterns ad-nauseum.

And when we do that hard work?

We fix the problems and get to move on as better, happier, healthier versions of ourselves.

... and that's the change I'm here to help facilitate.