You can't hide from yourself

The not-so-funny paradox of compulsive behaviors:

Often when you're doing something that maybe you shouldn't be, the dopamine-seeking part of your brain will convince you, for one reason or another, that it's acceptable or no biggie or that it's not hurting anyone but you... so have at it!

But deep inside, something in your subconscious knows that ain't true.

And that knowledge shatters your self-confidence.

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It knows you're doing something that your better self doesn't want to do, and yet you do it anyways. No matter what mental gymnastics your conscious mind does to try to explain it away, your subconscious knows the truth and you're simply going to be mad at yourself for it. You can probably hide it from other people, but you can't hide from yourself.

This applies to anything.

Doomscrolling social media for hours, binge-watching YouTube, playing mobile games when you should be working or being present with your family, smoking weed, hitting the bottle, and yes, pornography and masturbation are glaring examples of this too. In fact, those last ones are probably the worst for your self-image, and they make every other uncontrolled behavior even worse due to the damage they do to your brain & dopamine reward center.

My recovery from escapist tendencies took a turn for the better when I stopped caring about other people knowing or not, and locked into the mentality that I would know if I did the wrong thing...

And I didn't want that anymore.

That said, accountability was extremely important for me too. Especially early in the journey, I needed an external source of reflection, checkpoints, guidance, and strategies to help keep me on track so I could finally break out of these compulsive loops that had been running rampant in my lifestyle for far too long.

I wouldn't be where and who I am without having had the humility to reach out for help when I needed it.

And I recommend the same to you.

It doesn't even have to be from me.

But if you need help, don't be afraid to seek it and reach out to someone.

Just like it was for me, that may end up being one of the smartest decisions you ever make.

Download the BeFree App today and stop hiding from the person you know you can become.