I have a clearing with you

I've been part of a men's group for about 2 and a half years.

Every week, without fail, we meet up and do secret-society men's group things.

The goats aren't happy with us, but so be it. /s

Anyways, we have a practice I love called "clearings," which we do at the beginning of each group if necessary. This is where if a guy has an outstanding gripe, frustration, or whatever else with another guy in the group, he gets to bring it up and talk it out briefly before we carry on with the rest of the group, that way there aren't any lingering resentments or things being left unsaid tainting those relationships or our discourse.

And this is pretty awesome.

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Because there's a high degree of masculine ownership and healthy confrontation that comes with it, it does an awesome job of "clearing the air," and it calls each of us to a higher standard.

Which, incidentally, is also extremely good for our relationships with one another.

Pondering on this earlier got me thinkin' about self-honesty.

My clearing with you:

When was the last time you did a clearing with yourself?

Called yourself out on something you aren't proud of, were honest but not harsh or angry or spiteful about it, and called yourself to a higher level?

In my experience, being willing to have some of those tough conversations with yourself is a massive indicator of a man who's going to grow and overcome everything that's plaguing him currently, vs. being the kind of guy who's just going to stay stuck in the same patterns. I've seen both and I've been both, and it's no surprise that when I stuck my head in the sand and wasn't willing to take a closer look in the mirror, not much was getting better.

A little, "Man, this is really not up to my standards of who I want to be. I can't let this stand anymore." can go a long way.

Just be careful not to cross the line into self-berating behavior, since being too hard on yourself can actually make your desire for escapism even stronger. There's a balance to be struck.

So, where have you not quite been meeting your own standards?

Or, on the other hand, you can give yourself props where they're due if you've been working hard too.

Download the BeFree App today and start having honest clearings with yourself.