Dopamine deprived dad digs ditch

You know that old phrase...

"If you're stuck in a hole, stop digging"?

There's a certain undeniable wisdom in that line.

Yet, despite almost everyone being familiar with that phrase, the reality is that so many men are operating with their proverbial heads in the sand while they just merrily, or grimly, chuck more and more dirt out of that ditch while the sun eclipses behind the edges and they sink deeper and deeper into the consequences of their shitty decision making.

This is what happens when we rely on escapism.

Let's say, for example, that you're stuck in an emotional hole of some sort.

Tired.

Wired.

Stressed.

Bored.

Lonely.

Rejected by your wife.

Whatever it is...

The irony is that when you find yourself in that emotional hole, and then you turn to things like porn, mobile games, YouTube, and compulsively scrolling through your social feeds as an emotional balm to soothe whatever discomfort or dissatisfaction you're experiencing... you unwittingly end up digging the hole deeper.

Which is a nice metaphor, but let me be more clear:

In escaping from your emotions this way, you literally further destabilize your emotional state in the near future because of the damage you're causing to your dopamine reward center and frontal cortex. These brain systems are directly related to mental and emotional health.

What a trick we can end up playing on ourselves!

The emotional, escapism-driven part of your brain doesn't want you to know this.

And yet it's an extremely important lesson.

In trying to solve the problem of feeling bad by doing something that "picks you up" with high dopamine, you actually make the problem worse by far. In particular, when this type of escapism becomes a habitual, compulsive behavior loop that you repeat day, week, and month after month. The negative effects compound on themselves, and can ultimately leave you in a place where you're feeling and operating at a small fraction of where you could and should be operating from if your neurochemistry was simply in a healthier place. Most guys I work with fit that profile to a T.

Let me be clear, though:

If you relate to what I'm saying here, this isn't a problem with your neurochemistry. There's nothing wrong with the chemicals in your brain, and you aren't broken. You aren't fundamentally different from everyone else.

It's a problem with your behavior.

And that behavior has consequences in the form of neurological adaptations that can be quite painful and drastically reduce quality of life.

The good news?

Neuroplasticity is an awesome thing.

Your brain is constantly, forever, seeking a state of homeostasis and equilibrium.

Which means that when you fix the offending behaviors, your brain naturally wants to, can, and will return to its healthier baseline. You've just gotta stop putting fuel on the fire, and let nature run its course. Easier said than done when you're dealing with deeply entrenched psychological, physical, and emotional patterns, of course. But true nonetheless.

And if you've already been working on yourself for a while, and it's just not clicking, and you're tired of feeling stuck, lost, and alone...

Download the BeFree App today and start repaying your dopamine debt.