Are you *trying* or *identifying*?

This is something I've long thought on.

As I sought to change the things that were holding me back from being who I knew I was capable of being, at first, I had good intentions.

But intent could only take me.

There was a critical shift when instead of trying to quit porn and become my best self, instead of trying to build something better... I started working on changing my very identity into that man. To change the very fabric of my being so that it no longer included the miserable escapism loops, low energy, lackluster intimacy, and whole host of other problems that had become part of my baseline experience of life. To become the kind of man who simply doesn't do that shit anymore, because it doesn't align with his values and because he has better things to be doing with his time.

🔄 The Key to Lasting Change
Discover how identity transformation is the true foundation for lasting freedom from porn addiction.

And that's where true long-term recovery comes from.

No part of me has even considered porn an option for a long time because it's simply so far out of alignment with the man I've become that it's not even buried in fine print at the back of the menu. It's literally not even remotely part of my thought patterns anymore, except to the extent that I write and speak about it so I can help lead others down a better path.

Which is different.

And which is also why I'm writing this email.

Because I want to encourage you to not simply remove porn from your lifestyle, but to work on creating an identity-level shift where you deeply know, believe, and behave as though that crap is below your baseline level of dignity and self-respect. Where you view it as beneath you. Not out of a place of judgement, and especially not judgement of others who are struggling with it; that wouldn't be right, we all know how hard it can be to stop.

But as a personal standard that you hold for yourself.

That you don't need it. Don't want it. Can find healthier ways of dealing with whatever stresses are plaguing you than to drain your energy into pixels who'll never love, touch, or be there to comfort you for real. That you're happy to preserve your energy for a real woman who's devoted to you, instead of giving yourself to... well, I think you understand the idea.

This is the shift I've made.

But it's also the shift I've helped 130+ other guys make over the past nearly 5 years of my career of helping men quit porn, end their escapism loops, and build lives of fulfillment that are better than they even thought would be possible. Guys who were at their wits end after years of trying on their own, who thought they might just be stuck that way forever, who found the light on the other side...

And if it's a good fit, you could be next.