The Instant Gratification Pitfall (it's not your fault)

Humans are wired for survival.

And we're remarkably good at it, which is how we've made it this far.

But survival is not always the same thing as thriving, and sometimes the mechanisms that help us survive can also cause some pretty big problems.

One example of this would be trauma.

Someone goes through a horrific event, and their mind/body shuts it out and buries it deep. That way they can keep going with what must be done. But the trauma is there, deep in their psyche and lodged in the very fiber of their being, and if not dealt with, it resurfaces at inconvenient times and can be quite damaging. Everyone knows someone who's become slightly dysfunctional because of their unresolved traumas — and it's not even their fault, really. That's not what this is about, and I'm not casting shade on anyone. Just want to be clear about that.

🧠 The Addiction Trap
Learn why porn is so addictive from an evolutionary perspective and how it hijacks your brain's survival instincts.

Another example:

Imagine a caveman who's endured a brutal winter.

After nearly freezing to death, he wanders out of the highlands and into a valley that's filled with vital resources. He finds massive stockpiles of food, fresh fruit, clean water, warm weather, and there's a community of friendly people who he integrates with too. He even finds a woman who takes a liking to him, and they start making caveman-love.

His brain sends abundant signals:

This is good, stay here and do as much of this as you can.

Those signals are largely comprised of Dopamine.

Dopamine that, historically, has been released in response to things that will aid our survival. (The food, shelter, community, intimacy, etc he found…)

So, essentially when something releases a lot of dopamine, our primitive brain that hasn't quite adapted to the modern world yet sends powerful signals that this is good, and we should do as much of it as we can because we've apparently "found something good for our survival."

See where this is going?

In the modern world, humans' brains are being tricked constantly.

This neurochemical mechanism that used to signal us to keep doing something that's good for our survival is being hijacked by things that don't help survival, and can even be actively harmful to it. Things like doomscrolling social media, watching Netflix, playing video games, or "having infinite partners" through porn; each of these release so much dopamine that the primitive part of our brains almost can't help but to make them a huge priority. It's what they're biologically wired to do…

And the problem arises when those high-stimulation, low-value sources of dopamine end up being prioritized over other things that are much more beneficial, or even essential to our survival and happiness.

Such is the case when...

1/ The student plays video games instead of studying to the point of failing out.

2/ Or when the mother is so absorbed in her social media profiles that she isn't present with or raising her kids as well as she could be.

3/ Or when someone always chooses Netflix over real hobbies and feels empty inside.

4/ Or when the husband chooses porn over his wife, depriving her of his attention and intimacy and weakening the foundation of their relationship.

And the crazy thing is:

It's not even really their fault.

They're just doing what their brains were programmed to do.

And those wires are simply getting crossed because our brains didn't evolve to exist in this modern, high-tech world, and they haven't had time to adapt yet.

It's a crazy, awesome, beautiful, freaky time to be alive.

Anyways, if you see yourself or people you know in this, you're not alone.

We're in it together, and it's our responsibility to learn how to navigate the modern world effectively so that we're truly aligning with our better interests.

To take back control.

And there's no better way to start doing that than by quitting porn.

Because it's the #1 strongest source of dopamine, and the most addictive force in most men's lives, that once you learn how to control… will have benefits that bleed over into everything else, too. Not just the obvious things, like intimacy and relationship health. But also self-confidence, impulse control, productivity, and more.

You may surprise yourself with that "higher gear" of you that's waiting on the other side of this crap.

Download the BeFree App today and start reclaiming control from your evolutionary mismatch.