Cultivating an anti-victim mentality

I saw a cool post recently.

It started as a Chinese man who posted on social media for the first time, when he'd previously never used it, so he could ask for advice on how to get a girlfriend because he'd never had one and really wanted to find someone special.

He was just an average looking guy, not ugly but not a supermodel either.

And he was really honest about his situation, letting the internet know how much he was earning, his height, weight, etc.

Naturally, he got some mean comments about how he was too short, too poor, etc to get a girl.

But...

Many people gave him advice too.

They said to drop some weight.

So he did.

He'd been slightly overweight before, and posted a photo a few months later where he was super lean and instantly looked way better, and was wondering what he should do next.

The internet told him to get a 6-pack.

So he did.

In fact, he's friggin' shredded with an 8-pack.

They told him to see a barber and find a fresh hairstyle.

So he did.

Between that and the pounds he'd shed, his face looked MUCH more attractive.

Then they told him to take a look at his style...

And he did.

He got some new clothes that fit well, learned a bit about how to put outfits together, and "suddenly" (a couple years after his original post) he looked like an entirely different man, and felt like one too. His confidence was growing like crazy.

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There are 2 reasons I share this story:

One, because I massively respect the anti-victim mentality of this guy. He didn't start crying about how the world was unfair, people were calling him fat, saying he was ugly, or whatever. There was no "fat positivity" or "people should love me as I am!!11!" whining.

He just went:

"Oh, I should change this and it'll improve my odds? Okay."

And he did it.

He took control.

And I love to see that.

The second reason is this:

This guy who was previously foreveralone has just gotten married to a special woman who adores him and he adores her.

It worked.

He leveled up intentionally, and it f**kin' worked.

Which isn't even surprising, it's more the natural result of intentional effort consistently applied over time - but it's nonetheless awesome to see.

So if something isn't going well currently, know that you have it in you to change.

But it takes effort and intention.

And it wouldn't be an email from me if we didn't tie this back in with one of the most self-destructive, relationship-undermining, potential-draining vices affecting men in the modern world...

Incidentally, what this guy did isn't that far off the process that each man goes through in my 1-on-1 practice while we work on removing porn from their lifestyle for good. Because quitting porn successfully is about a lot more than just stopping that habit. It's about building the lifestyle, hobbies, self-image and identity of a guy who just doesn't do that stuff anymore and is happily living pornfree because his life is genuinely better that way.

So he doesn't want to escape anymore.

Because that's what porn is fundamentally; escapism.

It's about wholistic, well-rounded self-improvement in addition to the specifics of dealing with urges, rationalizations, etc.

While we're working together, we'll address the whole picture.

And a few months later, you'll have transformed more than you believed possible.

Such has been the case with well over 100 different guys so far, and you could be the next (anonymous) success story.

Download the BeFree App today and start your own transformation journey with an anti-victim mentality.