The Mexican gas attendant integrity incident

Had an interesting little thing come up yesterday.

Went and got my tank filled at a nearby gas station, and being somewhat in a rush, I made a simple mistake.

When I asked the guy for change, I'd done the numbers wrong in my head, and I asked him for 100 pesos more than what I was owed. And he trusted my word, didn't verify the amounts, and just handed it to me.

And as I sat in the sauna at my next destination, I realized what had happened.

That 100 peso bill wasn't rightfully mine.

But it was still in my bag.

I'd gotten away with it.

What's funny, though, is that I'd actually meant to give him a decent tip to make his day a bit better, simply because we had a short but pleasant conversation while he filled the tank... and instead I'd undone my tip, and then some. Which didn't feel right to me.

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100 pesos to me makes no difference whatsoever.

100 pesos to your normal, working-class Mexican is actually quite a bit.

So what did I do?

I went home, of course, and slept like a baby.

Muahahahaha

Okay, no, just kidding. I could have done that. And an older version of me may have.

But instead, I decided to make the high integrity move, so I took a little time out of my day to drive back to that gas station - winding my way through construction and unexpected detours along the way - just to go back there and give him what was rightfully his.

When I showed up and explained what had happened, he was grateful.

And that felt good.

But that's not why I did it.

I did it because it's what felt right to me.

Chances are, he wouldn't even have noticed what had happened, wouldn't know where the discrepancy had come from, if there even was one.

But I knew.

And I wanted to do what would make me feel best about myself, even if no one ever found out.

Of course, I do see the irony of me sharing this story publicly. But again, that's not why I did it. I'm not looking to receive praise for doing something small. It just dawned on me, after the fact, that this ties in with something I've been thinking a lot more about lately.

Integrity.

Specifically, that integrity is when we do what we feel and know is right... even when no one is looking. Even if no one would find out if we did the wrong thing. Even if we could "get away with it." We choose the higher road anyways.

Because at the end of the day, our self-image is the most important thing.

Even if no one finds out about the less-than-ideal decisions you may make in private, it still affects your perception of self, and consequently, the way you carry yourself through this world and within your relationships. And making better ones causes you to walk with your chest higher, with healthy pride...

A dynamic I've seen unfold countless times with the men I've helped quit porn.

Many of them were "getting away with it" for years.

They had good jobs, wives, families, good friends... there weren't necessarily any glaring, neon-red flags or crumbling foundations in their lives. But the consequences were starting to grow in the form of lethargy, disconnection, disinterest...

And deep inside, they knew they were harboring this secret poison that was slowly killing them.

The impact that quitting porn has on my clients' self-image, and the entire way they carry themselves through this world and show up moment-to-moment and day-to-day in everything they care about, truly can't be overstated.

My advice?

Stop thinking you're getting away with it.

Start doing what you know is right, even if it's hard.

And if you're the right kind of guy...

You know, the kind who's tired of his own crap, who's ready to close this chapter and move on, the kind who isn't afraid to reach out for help when he needs it, the kind who's willing to do whatever it takes to finally cut the crap and quit for good..

Then reach out and let's chat to see if working together could be a good fit.