Something I see in you that I see in myself

Last night we did a cool exercise in my men's group.

It was a sentence-completion where we'd look at the other guys in the group and say, for example, "Devin, something I see in you that I see in myself is..."

And I won't toot my own horn with specifics, but I was the subject of some interesting ones that really reflected the growth I've done. Not sure if the other guys were buttering me up because I just took over leadership of the group or what, though probably not, and that's neither here nor there anyways.

It just made me think of something worth sharing with you:

Something I see in you that I see in myself, that I know is for sure true simply because you're reading this message, is that you have a deep desire to improve yourself.

And for that, you have my respect.

But one of the things I reflected on, after one of the guys told me that we share this trait of extremely high clarity about who we are, who we want to be, and where we're going...

Is that improving yourself doesn't just happen on its own.

And it's certainly not random.

It starts with clarity.

And so this morning, I invite you to take a closer look at a few questions:

Who do you want to be?

What values do you want to live by?

What kind of father, husband, lover, brother, or CEO do you want to be?

How do you want your health to be?

What kind of lifestyle do you want to lead?

... as well as any other good questions you can think of, because when you ask yourself better questions your mind will naturally come up with better thoughts in response.

Then, a big one to wrap it up:

What behaviors, habits, or circumstances are stopping you from being or becoming that version of yourself?

By the end of that process, you should have a much clearer idea of where you're going, and what needs to change to facilitate you actually getting there.

And if you're anything like I was 5+, then porn is probably featured pretty high on the list of things that are holding you back because you know it's draining your energy, undercutting your mojo, harming your relationship with others, yourself, and God, and generally causing subtle havoc that almost no one even knows about except you and the Big Man upstairs.

Yet, despite that knowledge, quitting is a real struggle.

I get it.

Quitting was my #1 goal for 3 years, every day trying my damn best and still failing every few days, before I finally had my breakthrough and quit for good almost 5 years ago. And on that journey, I learned a lot that could help others. Then, I turned around and spent the last 4 years helping 140+ different guys quit for good too in a private, 1-on-1 setting. That's not even counting the numerous other guys I've helped in other settings too.

I've got it down to a formula that you can plug-and-play and it just... works.

So if you've been struggling alone, maybe it's time to try something different.