Masculine non-reactivity simplified

Hard truth:

Emotional reactivity makes a man weak in the eyes of women.

It weakens your frame, makes her feel unsafe opening up with you, and radiates the energy of an unstable man-child instead of a leader.

But before you twist your knickers in a bunch, let me explain.

The problem isn't having emotions. Truth is, you're always going to have challenging emotions - welcome to the human experience. The problem is how those emotions are dealt with (or not dealt with.) There's a massive difference between how most guys handle their emotions, and how an aligned masculine man in his King energy handles them. Most guys feel their emotions and just react with whatever impulse is firing in their body and brain...

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Which, fine, whatever, there's nothing inherently wrong with that.

But as I said, you can't have that basic of a response to things without there being negative relational consequences.

A man who's in his King energy?

He feels the emotion, but observes it while it happens. He doesn't allow the emotion to push him out of his center, or even if it is pushing him internally, he still remains calm externally. Observing the feeling. Processing it. Chewing on it. Consciously deciding how he's going to respond to it.

Then he acts from a place of intention and strength, instead of reacting on impulse.

I share this for two reasons:

One, because this dynamic is completely necessary if you want to be the most aligned, best version of yourself you can be. To be the kind of father, husband, and leader that the people you care for deserve, it's critical that you move with intention instead of reaction.

That's at the macro-scale.

But on the micro-scale, this principle is also directly relevant to quitting porn or any other type of compulsive behavior.

Here's how:

Porn, masturbation, and other compulsivity are expressions of the same dynamic I explained above. 9/10 times the impulse is triggered by something internal like an emotion, and even on the odd times where it's triggered by something external, it still turns into an internal feeling. So you end up with this feeling inside you, and then react to it right away by launching into behavior that brings you closer to something regrettable. You've already lost, because you're simply reacting to impulses instead of observing them and choosing how to interact with them.

Which is why you need to learn how to shift into King energy.

To learn how to observe your impulses, your urges, with healthy detachment. To recognize that they're probably coming from some sort of discomfort you're experiencing. To see the urge, but not react to it. To feel its presence, but calmly decide not to engage, and bring your attention in a different direction instead. To feel that emotion you want to run from, process it, and release it so that you can move on with your day.

That is how you win this fight.

And that's a big part of what I teach to each man I guide out of addiction and into a lifestyle of alignment, intimacy, and fulfillment.

If you've been trying to clean things up on your own for a while already, and it feels like nothing is working as well as you'd hoped... well, brother, maybe it's time to try something different.

Download the BeFree App today and start developing the King energy that observes rather than reacts.