How to be You again

For the longest time, I'd been losing myself.

It was a gradual process though, so I didn't quite realize what was happening until I was several years down the road.

Looking around like, "I barely recognize this. Where am I?"

I'd lost interest in so many things I used to love. Talking with my family, sunsets, hiking, playing sports, going for walks, making art, and even work — either I wasn't doing them anymore, or if I had to because of obligations, I was just going through the motions. The passion and enthusiastic attitude I used to have had died out, and my world felt grey. I wasn't myself.

🧩 Finding Your True Self
Discover how identity transformation is the key to lasting freedom from porn and reconnecting with your authentic self.

But I knew I could be again.

My intuition told me that the "real me" was still in there, perhaps buried deep, but retrievable.

And this is, essentially, what my self-improvement journey that started 7 years ago has been about.

Making the changes I needed to make so I could excavate the real me out from underneath the rubble of addictive behaviors and poor lifestyle choices that had been weighing me down.

Which is exactly what's happened:

When I started gaining better control over my impulses, and my porn use went down, my brain started healing. As it healed, I made other positive changes to my lifestyle. Cut down on time-wasting BS, and dialed up some things that felt more aligned with the future I wanted for myself — like the gym, learning about business, and doing more and better work. The whole time, I continued doing the internal work too. Because I had deep self-destructive, compulsive, escapist patterns inside my mind and emotional body that needed to be rewired quite thoroughly if I was to truly stay clean from porn for good.

Staying dedicated to that process is one of the smartest things I've ever done.

Because it's allowed me to succeed in that excavation.

I rediscovered my passion.

I've found a deep sense of purpose and fulfillment.

The intimacy has been nothing short of incredible these past 4 years since I quit the smut.

My fitness has reached a point where people comment on it regularly… which isn't why I do it, but is certainly reaffirming.

And, in essence, I've rediscovered myself.

My better self.

The "me" that has my best interests at heart, acts in alignment with those interests, and is proud of who he is and who he's becoming. The me that loves the way he's living. The one who's hopeful and optimistic about the future, and takes joy in the little things that had previously lost their spice for me. And it's even better than I'd hoped, because I didn't just rediscover my old self — I've discovered and been intentionally crafting an even better self than ever.

What I've realized is this:

To be "you" again — the authentic, best "you"...

Requires hitting the big red "stop" button on the behaviors that are burying Him.

It's not enough to just focus on building better habits.

It's critical to stop the wrong ones too.

And the #1 most destructive in most men's lives?

If you've been paying attention, then you've probably guessed it.

It's porn. Because nothing else in modern man's lifestyle, as long as he isn't a hard drug addict, releases that amount of dopamine. And even hard drugs don't share the same characteristics, because porn is so accessible… and one of its sneakiest mechanisms is how it hijacks men's brain's natural reproductive systems, basically forcing their brains to think it needs to be a major priority, regardless of the (massive) consequences.

I can tell you from experience, and not just my experience but also from helping 130+ other men quit too, that this is the #1 thing holding you back from being your best self.

Download the BeFree App today and start excavating your authentic self from beneath the rubble of addiction.