Iron-clad mental framing to make success inevitable

What do you do when you slip up?

If you're anything like most guys, maybe you end up spiraling a bit. Beating yourself up, feeling terrible about what happened, and worse - perhaps even indulging again and again for a while, maybe even to the point of undoing most or all of your hard-earned progress.

Heck, I used to be like that too.

But there's a mental frame that I recommend adopting that helps ride those waves.

🧠 The Growth Mindset
Learn how developing a growth mindset can transform relapses into stepping stones and accelerate your recovery journey.

A mental frame that applies to reining in, controlling, and even entirely quitting any kind of compulsive behavior.

One that, when you integrate it, will become fundamental to your success.

And that frame is this:

Treat it like you're a scientist in a laboratory, who's experimenting with a very powerful substance. That substance could be drugs, alcohol, or in this example, pornography and your own sexual energy. And that sexual substance is so volatile, so primal, so powerful, that it's very challenging to control. You're sure it's possible, but... failed experiments are necessary to learn how to harness it properly.

This reframes relapses entirely.

Instead of relapsing and "going back to square 1" - you're a scientist who's gathering data with each "failure."

Like Edison discovering 1000 ways not to make a lightbulb.

Every slip-up gives you another data point, something that makes you wiser and stronger and influences your decision-making going forward. That is, as long as you actually gather the data. If you just push what happened under the rug, don't want to look at or think about it, and don't learn any lessons from it? Well, I have bad news: you'll just repeat the same failed experiments over and over. Hard truth.

Yet if you take the time to reflect, analyze, and learn any time something that isn't aligned with your higher good and better values happens... success becomes almost inevitable.

The other day I was talking with a client.

He'd had a slip-up and was understandably feeling bad about it.

But that's where I reminded him of this perspective, and it shifted his experience. Thing is, the reason I'm as strong, stable, and confident in my sobriety from all the addictive, compulsive behaviors that once plagued me is simply because I've gathered hundreds, or maybe even 1000s of data points that have taught me how not to do things, and how to do it right.

I wouldn't be who I am without those "mistakes."

So were they really mistakes?

Or just part of the journey?

You can decide.

But I wholeheartedly recommend taking this mental approach because with it, you can't help but end up where you want to be eventually as long as you stay committed.

That said, it ain't easy.

I had to ride a LOT of ups and downs to become this man. Quitting porn and compulsive sexuality was one of the hardest things I've ever done. Maybe you're feeling that way too. Or maybe there are other things holding you back from being your better self, and that particular habit is just one piece of the equation.

Either way, if instead of gathering hundreds of your own data points, you might rather benefit completely from the multitudinous ones I've already gathered and quit much faster and easier than would otherwise be possible... If you want to stop guessing at what works and start following a proven process that'll help you quit this crap in just 60 days...

Download the BeFree App today and start turning your setbacks into stepping stones.