Processing emotions you can't even feel?

Effective emotional processing is one of the keys to getting and staying clean from any compulsive behavior.

Which is why it's a major focal point here, and in my 1-on-1 practice.

Recently, one of my guys said something interesting:

"The problem is that my emotions are buried so deep, I can't really feel them anymore" ---

Here's my response:

I can relate to this man.

I was in the same boat for years because I'd (unknowingly) been habitually escaping from most of my emotions since my teenage years... and maybe earlier.

🧠 Emotional Healing
Discover the path to emotional recovery from porn addiction and how reconnecting with buried feelings is essential for lasting freedom.

So they were buried deep, and I was pretty out of touch with 'em.

Then, it was really uncomfortable when I started removing my go-to forms of escapism and those emotions started resurfacing (which I think you might be experiencing as you go longer clean, too..) And yet, despite those emotions bubbling back up, I still couldn't identify them or work with them because I'd been so out of touch with them for years. I knew I felt fucked up and very uncomfortable, but I didn't know how to go deeper and do something about it.

And this is where you can see a potential issue when trying to use ERT.

(ERT is the Emotional Repatterning Technique for retraining your brain's response to emotional discomfort, so it stops constantly reaching for escapism...)

Because even when you have the right tool for the job, if you don't know how to use that tool correctly, it won't be nearly as effective as it otherwise could be. Imagine an aspiring carpenter trying to use a hammer by smashing nails with the wrong side of the hammer — right tool, wrong application. Which is how even if you know what to do... having guidance can be the difference between actually doing it right, or spinning your wheels in a frustrating cycle.

Because the thing is, if you don't know what you're feeling in the first place, you can't do the work very effectively.

If you just know you "feel bad" - well shyt, what do you even do about that?

It's not specific enough.

The way I fixed this was simple:

I combined my ERT work with a tool called an Emotion Wheel.

With that, I was able to develop a much healthier relationship with my own feelings.

And ultimately I've broken my escapist tendencies altogether, to where these days I'm completely capable of experiencing and processing any discomfort I'm going through without reaching for any forms of escapism. Which is part of how I've stayed clean from not just porn, but from every other type of digital and substance-based escapism that used to have their claws in me.

Sound unpleasant?

Well, I can tell you from experience:

It's a whole lot more pleasant than continuing to make terrible, repetitive decisions that hold you back despite your best intentions. And it's surprising how easy and natural it can become with just a bit of repetition and the right guidance.

Which is how we do things in my Magnetic Man 1-on-1 Private Practice.

We don't just make superficial changes.

We make deep ones, ones that change the very neurological wiring in your brain and create change that lasts. Better, healthier ways of thinking, acting, and being on a fundamental level.

So if you're like I was...

(One of those unfortunate guys who gets jealous of how easily some other people are able to quit porn, because for us it just apparently is not that easy...)

Well, maybe it's time to try something different and take a more comprehensive approach.

Download the BeFree App today and start reconnecting with and processing the emotions you've been escaping from.