Purpose, passion, and...

If there's one overarching theme that I'd recommend taking a closer look at, especially in early recovery it's purpose.

I don't think it's a coincidence that back when porn was a problem, I didn't feel super clear in my direction or feel much of an overarching sense of meaning.. I was just coasting and going through the motions. Same old relationships, same old lifestyle, same day over and over - not much of an overarching vision of where I was going, a picture I could strive toward and work to fit my daily actions and rhythms into.

And before I could come even remotely close to quitting porn, I had to fix that.

🧭 Finding Your North Star
Learn how aligning your actions with what truly matters creates a foundation for lasting freedom from addiction.

At least at a high level.

I had to figure out where I wanted to go, why it was so important to me, and then let that vision pull me forward through my recovery process.

Over the years my vision of where I'm going and what my purpose is has expanded and evolved in beautiful ways, but many of the elements of what I first decided about 7 years ago are still present in how I live.

But purpose and porn...

That's a blade that cuts both ways.

For me, I was lacking purpose and it was holding me back from quitting porn.

But for some guys, they have a sense of purpose and their porn habit is holding them back from realizing it to their full potential.

So while it's critically important to identify that sense of purpose, I can't sit here and pretend it's just that easy. Wish it were true. But for guys who already have a solid sense of direction in their lives and are still struggling? There are deeper elements to the work they need to do. Which is what I discovered for myself, once I had my sense of purpose, but for some reason I was still falling back into the same old porn-trap routine every week or so. It was pretty exhausting, because the advice I'd been seeing just said "fInD a PuRpOsE and you'll be good!"

I know, I know. I started this email by saying that I recommend taking a closer look at this "sense of purpose" stuff, and I do.

Because If you don't have that sorted out, it can mess you up forever, so I seriously encourage you to reflect a bunch and find a sense of purpose. It wasn't that simple for me.

Feeling more meaning is important, but the work doesn't stop there. For me to finally pull myself out of the porn trap and stay that way, I had to do a few key things:

• Identify (and work on meeting) my unmet needs
• Retrain my emotional coping patterns so stress/boredom/loneliness couldn't make me relapse anymore
• Learn mindfulness techniques to take control over my urge-thoughts, because relapses always begin in the mind first
• Build a lifestyle that I found so satisfying, that I didn't want to escape from it anymore
• And ultimately become the kind of man, on an identity level, who simply does not do that shit anymore

And incidentally, these are the exact things I've spent the last several years helping 140+ other men do too, and we've achieved some miraculous transformations over that time.

You can see some examples in the link below.

I'll help you quit porn for good in the next 60 days, infinitely faster than I was able to do it because I know exactly the right levers to pull - not just for me, but in your specific situation. This is not a cookie-cutter approach, it's a fully custom-tailored system that'll address exactly what you need.

If you have ~2 hours each week to invest, you'll be stoked about what we can achieve together.

Download the BeFree App today and start your journey toward purpose-driven recovery.