Why Sleep Can Make or Break Your Streak

For the past few years, I've had things pretty dialed in.

Sleep, nutrition, exercise, daily planning, meditation... I usually have my "ducks in a row."

So when they end up out of line, it's an interesting to note the difference it makes.

I'm having that experience this morning.

Last night, I was up a little later than normal. Instead of getting my usual 8-8.5 hours of sleep, I got about 6.5. I've still been exercising hard and had my other "ducks in a row" but that one stepped out of line a little. And it's interesting what I'm noticing...

I just don't feel quite as good as I normally do.

I'm fine. Not terribly sleep deprived. But I don't feel super rested either. And as I sat down to begin work earlier, I noticed my mind wanting to drift towards social media and other distractions instead of doing what needed doing. Not in a major way, but enough that I noticed the difference. No one is infallible - far from it - and it's in those moments of imperfection where there are always lessons to be mined...

But the cool thing is, over the years I've been working on myself, I've developed a couple traits I'm proud of:

1. The discipline to not let my mind actually wander too far away from the things that need doing.

2. The self-awareness and mindfulness to observe my thoughts and impulses without becoming overly attached to them or allowing them to launch me into less-than-ideal behavior without my permission.

So I'm able to just observe what's happening, make a mental note of it, and use it as a reinforcement reminding myself "ah, yeah, that's why sleep matters so much" and carry on without it actually having much of an influence on my day (although it will influence the time I go to bed tonight - in a good way!)

But it takes time to develop that. And if you're "earlier in the process" then you really need to hear what follows. Because a few years ago, this dynamic probably would have led me to relapse...

Let me explain why I'm sharing this:

It's not because I wanted to complain about a lack of sleep - I'm not.

And it's not because I wanted to brag about the self-control skills I've developed either.

Rather, it's because there's a really important lesson in there about the importance of sleep, and the relationship sleep has with impulsiveness, stimulation-seeking behavior, and discipline.

Specifically:

If you're trying to take better control over your behavior, emotions, addictions, lifestyle, and/or habits... but you're operating on anything less than 7.5-8 hours of sleep... for most people, that'll mean you're really doing a disservice to yourself. It's playing the game on hard mode. Which is fine if you've developed the right tools, skills, and internal management to handle hard mode... but if not? Like I said, it's a major disservice to yourself. And even if you have those things, it's still a disservice to play the game on hard mode unnecessarily.

"Oh, but Devin, some people actually need less sleep!"

Sure, that's true, but you're probably not that guy - don't fool yourself. Try getting more and see how you feel after a week or two (because it takes time to reverse a sleep deficit that's accumulated over days, weeks, and months.)

Lack of sleep will:

Make you more impulsive, increase urges, reduce your ability to moderate your thoughts and emotions, make you more irritable, slash your testosterone levels and more. Especially if it's a chronic issue instead of just once.

🧠 Want More Recovery Science?
Check out our complete guide to Sleep Optimization in Recovery and learn why this is a missing key that nobody talks about.

So if you're struggling with self-control, energy levels, mental clarity, or whatever else...

And especially if you're working on quitting porn or any other vice, where you absolutely need the energy and mental clarity to make good decisions...

And you've been getting too little sleep...

This is one of the most braindead simple things you can do to improve your odds.

Just thought I'd share because it's something I haven't really spoken about much in this newsletter, but it really matters a lot, and this experience and this email have helped reinforce that lesson for me. Hopefully it helps you, too, even if it's just a reminder.

Naturally, this is just the tip of the iceberg though.

Quitting porn for good requires deeper work if you want to do better than flip-flopping back and forth between clean and relapsing repeatedly.

So if you're tired of spinning your wheels and repeatedly ending up right back in the same trap you've already been trying to escape for years, download the BeFree App today and start your journey to lasting freedom.